Time Passing Through the Embrace of Eternity
Musings from Living Eternity in Time: The way we relate, is the world we create, Part 2
Each polarized political side tends to only see the other‘s shadow and totally misses their own shadow and also where they may share similar positive perspectives with their adversary.
Those of us who are in this polarized dynamic tend not to meet where we share conviction and aspiration towards a more beautiful, free and thriving life. We tend not to meet in our shared humanity or heart. All we tend to see in each other is the most grotesque eruption of our values (and projections of our own shadow) and then we dehumanize and alienate each other through that. We tend not to meet in our innocence and a humility of the unknown, but in the defenses of contractions and conspiracy theories which placate our insecurity with that unknown.
I feel it is possible to meet each other in the light of “namaste”, of seeing our essential divine nature, no matter our differences. Another’s behavior may not garner trust, or our agreement. It may even inspire our protest. Yet that does not mean that we cannot “hold the space” for each other to change or be all that we can be. That does not mean that we cannot also hold the space for emergence and the unexpected while at the same time being realistic about what their own investments, patterns and development have consistently shown us.
Interpersonally, I find that I can speak to wholeness and heart from wholeness and heart about what doesn’t know itself as that wholeness and heart, without creating division. I generally find that whatever aspect I speak to within others, be it their limitation or their expanse, is what answers me.
It is usually the most challenging to shift dynamics with those we are closest to or with whom we have long time momentums. Releasing ourselves from our self-limiting ideations of ourselves, them and our dynamics with them - especially if they also hold you to them, can be more difficult than with younger relationships where there is greater flexibility to be “new” and the flexible, fluid, multifaceted beings that we are.
To letting ourselves be new!
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The open awareness and flexibility of fluid identity [or no-oneness/allness] can allow for a Presence and connection from the heart to where one is called. A fixed or rigid identity that needs to hold to its self-conception for its sense of survival and to the beliefs that fortify that sense of self will not be as available to be present and hear others and their points of view.
There are no one size fits all formulas of how to connect with others. Each situation, moment, person and totality of all conditions will be different. A way to feel into the moment and what is called for is through heartened Presence itself.
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“When they go low, we go high”
My take: It’s not a matter of going low or going high. It’s a matter of being present with people where they are, hearing them without creating more division, and taking the skillful means to express truth, expose falsehood, and affect change in a way consistent with the ends we would like to achieve. Wise compassion does not enable abuse or destructive reactivity. We have to be willing to say no and wield swords of light that cut sharply and effectively through the corruption and ignorance; swords that do not cut in two, but cut in One.
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Vengeance lacks humor. It cannot see the spirit behind what is said. It is too busy finding fault. It is too busy projecting its own reactive impulses onto its target.
What is your orienting stance?
Sometimes we take on varying stances or orientations that become self-perpetuating dynamics in relation to people in specific areas of life. It may be different parts of ourselves that come alive according to the subject and one’s investment in it. There can be positive orienting, stances, or ones that result in impasses in communication.
If you feel that you’re at an impasse communicating with someone and you are each not feeling heard, it can be useful to take a step back from your position and look at the meta level of your dynamic with them and ask yourself “What is my orienting stance?“
If you’re orienting stance is not to deeply listen and meet the person with whom you are communicating, that may be why your at an impasse in dynamic with them. Meeting and deeply hearing them may have been your orienting stance to start out with it, but if theirs is one that’s competitive, it is very easy to get pulled into the same dynamic with them - or a defensive one. I find that it can be fruitful and break your participation in the dynamic by addressing the meta level of this from a heart-centered place and declaring your desire to meet and deeply hear the other.
What is your orientating stance in dynamic with the world around you? What is your orientating stance in this moment, in relation to politics, the environment, religion or family?
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May the wisdom of our shared heart and the light of our souls manifest as and through us, dancing their eternities into our time.
Images © Ellen Davis, 2024